Sunday, December 14, 2014

What it's like to return from an ex-pat assignment Part II

In this post....lost and blurry days, weeks and months

Catch up from end of summer to December 2014


End of summer, what a blurr...


Neighborhood friends catching the Valley View Bus!!


A fun day with cousins



 End of summer - Labor Day weekend at the lake.....



We had been warned.  We had been clearly clearly cautioned.  And yet, this returning home stuff still hits you like a rock.

Here we are, almost 6 months after returning home, and I can finally write with confidence to say that we are feeling settled.

It has taken that long.  Yes, that long.

People warned us and we anticipated unrest, anxiety, and a lot of work.  And although the physical challenges of moving home (returning to a house that needs a lot of work, unpacking, trying to organize your home and get connected back into sports and activities) were expected, it's probably the emotional aspects that surprised us a bit more.
The longing to return to what was in London.  The yearning for that other life.  The clarity of things in your home culture that drive you nuts.  The sadness as your kids' hearts are breaking because all their friends are in another country.  The knowledge that it is going to take quite some time before they build strong friendships here.  Not having any connections to activities, sports, routine, schools, jobs, church - anything - it all has to start over - even if you return to where you came from.

So let me rewind a bit.  I haven't written since July.  Oooops.  All that time has been consumed in adjusting to all those challenges and more mentioned in the previous paragraph.

We spent as much time as we could trying to connect the kids in various activities, church, sports and at school over the summer.  Taking off to our lake cabin every weekend helped us get away from that unsettled life not yet established.  We all agreed that the cabin felt more like home.  Our city home was empty - container not arriving until mid-August.  We had spent summers at our cabin, the kids and I, and it became a true second home for us.  It was complete.  Our city home was not complete.

Jonah took drivers ed, Josh enrolled in soccer camps, and Ally joined a swim club.  We spent a good part of a day getting a minivan, another day getting cell phones and service, another day joining a health club, and many days running errands to get those absolutely banal things that everyone has but that we just didn't have - like a pair of scissors, or brown sugar, or a cheese grater.

Container came August 8th.  Finally - our stuff - our beds, couches, tables, etc.  How nice to greet them again!  Right when I would have loved to be in New Zealand with the rest of my family (parents and sisters) who went to celebrate one of my sisters PhD achievements.  I did not get to go because of this move. Moving a family internationally makes you sacrifice a lot of things and it is a messy, messy, deal.  I recall going over to England feeling the same way.  Everything was a mess for at least 6 months, messy life, unsettled.  And now, reverse it all!

School orientations came early.  Mid-August brought multiple trips and meetings and orientations to the three different schools the kids would be attending.  We live in a wonderful public school district, but we had been spoiled by the private school experience at the American School in London.  The academic level might be very similar, but with small class sizes and staff who have the time to spend with students, that great public school system seemed pretty overwhelming and daunting to us now.


Apple orchard with the Larsons




September - full on school schedules, many house maintenance projects, Dave started a new job, I tried to reconnect with subbing and checking on the status of my teaching licensure.  We also began the process of exploring a business launch.


ELY in October:






Halloween fun with cousins



October - for MEA we went up to stay at my sister's in Ely.  Ely is a stone's throw from Canada and nature at its finest.



Finally getting to Deedee and Grandpa's house!!

November - the cold comes early snapping projects that should have been complete before snow was on the ground (like the underground dog fence and repairing the rotted egress window).  For Thanksgiving we hosted my in-laws and went up to the lake cabin for the weekend.

Cheering at the State CC meet


Six Months.  If you are moving internationally, I would say this is how long it takes to feel like you get to "normal".  Things are feeling normal now, but it's a new normal.  We really miss London, especially the people, the great school, Dave's job being a couple blocks from our house.

It's Christmastime here.  Each Christmas in London we traveled somewhere exciting.  The first year, to Switzerland and France (ski trip).  The second year, to Tenerife (exotic and warm).  The third year, to Italy with my in-laws (Rome, Florence, Venice...wow).  All of those trips will remain cherished memories and incredible pinch-me experiences.  Yet, we are simple, us Larsons, and this year, we will revel in the tree, the snow, the decorations now on display that had been in boxes since 2010.  Christmas songs playing continually, familiar Christmas foods, presents to exchange. We will appreciate every second we get to be with our extended families, whom we missed dearly while we were away, especially at Christmastime.

We're happy to be home.